Whirlpool of Emotions

I'm feeling a little sense of disappointment, a little sadness, a little frustration and a little helpless at this moment. It is very difficult for me to really understand what I am feeling right now and even more difficult to understand why. I'm just feeling a whirlpool of negative feelings twirling in my gut right now. And its all because of something that I've discovered.

I found out a certain something about a certain someone whom I considered a very close friend. Its not that I don't believe in keeping secrets, in fact, I think everyone has their own entitlement to a fair share of them, even between couples. What I am not happy about is when they would not admit to it when discovered.

Its not something that is actually a very big issue , which is why I feel that it is kind of sad that you cannot tell me. Are you afraid that I will look at you differently? Think differently about you? Or are you just too ashamed?

Then again, I think my feelings are just a bit overblown now, I have rationalized it all but my emotions are still nagging me about it. I know that I have grown to be a more FEELING person than I was. Not that I'm not a THINKING person anymore, on the contrary, sometimes I even think too much about my feelings. Its just that now, my feelings are more powerful than they used to be last time. So much so that the thinking won't help to much to ease the feeling.

So I guess, I will still be feeling lousy for a while. You know something, you can come to me. I might nag you a bit, but I won't judge you. But then again, you might not even read this.

Funny Things In MRT Stations

I've discovered 2 things that are strange in the MRT stations of Singapore:

First, for some unknown reason, its not safe to sit on the benches. Every once in a while an announcement will be made that goes "...for your own safety, please STAND behind the yellow line"

Second, I've notice that there are always 2 quotes displayed on the LCD screen that tells you that the train is coming or how many minutes till the next one. However, the strange thing is that they only change one of the quotes and the other one is the same every single day, and it goes: "if you see anything suspicious, please inform our staff or call 999."

World View

In one of my lectures last week, we talked about worldview. It means how we view the world as normal or acceptable. Which made me think of what I wrote in the last entry

Each of us sees the world differently, usually through the lenses of our moral values, beliefs, experiences and environment.

In that sense, what I was trying to say in the last entry was that there is no point in forcing our lenses on others. Unless their eyes are ready to adjust to your lenses, you are just going to hurt their eyes if they agree to even wear it for a little while.

Think about that.....

3 Things

How does one determines what is right for another?

A lot of things in life are pretty subjective,

especially when the other person cannot see from your point of view.

So what's the point of telling people what's right or wrong

when you know that he or she isn't going to listen?

Who are you to be so high and mighty to decide what's

best for the other person?

And even if you force another to accept your perspective,

will it mean that the action will be congruent?

I have someone dear to me who does this magically.

And I think it all boils down to 3 things;

humility, patience and respect.

2007

Looking back at 2006, I would say that it was eventful and satisfactory for me.

For one, I started studying again. Thanks to the many people who came through for me financially and made it all possible. Youth camp was a great experience once more, a time of great rekindling for the heart and passion for worship. Change of corps officer brought about a time of testing, even till now for many. Working part-time has proven to be draining financially but necessary. The year ended off with a great time during the watch-night service.

Watch-night this year was special, I felt a wind of revival blowing within the congregation. Throughout the service, I felt a warm sensation. My ears were red and hot, like when I blush. My "wife" said that it looked like I was glowing from where she was.

The greatest part of the service was not about me, but the congregation. They were singing back, and I think what I heard wasn't just simple singing, I could hear them crying out from their hearts. Thanks to my team, the songs selected for the closing was so appropriate and it really stirred my heart. And as everyone were meditating and getting into the words of "Spirit of the Living God Fall Afresh On Me", my mind was fighting notion of asking them to stand up. That didn't lasted too long as one of the members stood up and in an instant, as if making the same decision to my dilema, the rest responded by standing up too.

And during the sermon, I couldn't help but feel our heavenly Father smiling lovingly as the sweet aroma of worship ascended to His throne of grace. It was then that I felt that something is great is going to happen in Changi. So I prayed in my heart for God to really make it happen. And I know that things will happen as long as the hearts of the people are right for Him.

So far, it looks like 2007 will be a challenging year. So I pray for more grace, more mercy, more strength and more inspiration from Him.

What does 2007 have in store for you?